#NaPoWriMo 4

HOME 

Hope opens my eyes.

you are a nomad.

my heart is planted firmly 

between Houston and Oklahoma City.

anything outside of those 400 miles 

is just visiting.

Your gypsy feet 

can kick off dust 

where ever there are paint brushes and stars.

my southern heart finds itself 

pulled by what ever tide you're  closest to at any time. 

You forced me to walk on the moon.

now I hate gravity.

What used to look like depravity 

wraps me in its blanket of wanderlust.

I can't trust my hands to touch you.

just the pull of your irises 

pulls the truth out of the lie this is.

every word from your throat 

is afloat on the waves of our past,

passed up like a love note

dropped on the floor,

dropped out of a song.

it's been so long since our breaths 

formed the rhythms and melodies 

your chest was too small to hold all of.

Hope opens my ears.

you always draw your edges with black ink, lead others to think 

you're more firmly linked 

to darkness than light.

I fight each impulse 

to shadow my brightness,

to downplay my likeness to tradition.

Ever since I met you 

you've been doodling on my Bible pages.

I have cringed away from your desecration,

begged you to see black and white.

you just keep smearing gray, red and green 

on top of my scriptures,

trying to paint me a clearer picture of holy,

Wholly devoted to the whole me,

the whole me that the old you 

could not officially hold onto. 

Hope opens monotonous evenings. 

you're not perfect.

 you freeze when there's nothing to lose 

and loosen your grip 

at the wrong moment

to slip into a life you didn't choose.

You're strong.

a pillar, a roof,

You lift and cover and surround.

but you're not brave.

you never exchange broken certainties

for a chance at being whole.

You save shards and scraps 

When the parts in your lap 

just needed your arrangement

to change them into a home.

Hope opens my eternity.

I tried to keep at least three feet between us.

your voice kept throwing sparks 

off my brick walls.

We walked all the way to goodbye 

before your flame engulfed me 

Resculpting the scars 

you'd drawn on years ago.

Although the glow from your kiln has cooled 

I am not fooled into thinking 

those sparks cannot start a blaze 

that would sear off every false claim,

Raise up a hellfire 

to strip us of our names,

force us to admit 

that burning is only bad 

if you're consumed.

and people like us two

 have lived in the yellow heat for so long 

it's time to make our home in the blue.

grip the wick 

til the pain licks all colder cares away

#NaPoWriMo 10

Tell Me 

As the rain pitter patters on the pavement 

Would you whisper everythings to my spirit?

Tell me again 

How you shake foundations 

And change the temperature of atmospheres

In order to stabilize my days

Tell me how you created me to phase like the moon,

How your hands pulled rays from the sun,

Taught the rushing tides to go and come

In tune with my life blood and womb.

As the thunder rumbles above the rooftops, 

Don't stop the mumbles of your voice to my heart.

Remind me how the wind blows to move me,

How the clouds give me shade.

Wash me in the evening rain.

Let the pain run off my brow in rivulets,

And the shame rinse from hands in clumps.

I will trust you for fresh water 

that makes the rivers rush.

As lightning flashes across a grey backdrop,

Would you show my third eye 

what it cannot see without you?

Show me our home on a mountain,

Where I touch clouds like stroking your cheek.

Show me the place by the ocean

Where my feet chase the sunset 

At the line where sand and salt meet.

Show me the rainforest trees

Whose branches I grip like your hands.

And hold me til then.

Calm the storm in my belly.

Soothe me

Show me

Tell me

#NaPoWriMo 12

Mindfucked part 2

It's complicated to live in a body 

that longs for warm fingertips 

And breath on my neck or under my head.

But to hold a heart 

That would rather keep its distance 

From all but half a dozen names. 

You can keep your logic and dissenting opinion. 

Keep your dirt and hunger 

And any other obligations. 

I only want your lips on my cheek

And spine,

Your hands on my knee and thigh.

Sneak up my skirt 

Like junior high shy,

Like you're still in awe of what's inside. 

I'm tired of living in a body

That swells and dampens in the wrong places

At the wrong times.

While operating from a mind

Cast into shadow

By imagining all the ways 

This could fail to satisfy. 

So make it magic. 

Spellbind the parts of my brain that matter

Before sending any signals to the receptors that can feel.

Convince me your touch is a medicine

So that I can heal.